MEDICAL ISSUE
Date closed: 18-10-2023
Constituency: MAUN WEST
MP: Maun West Constituency Officer
Dear Honorable Saleshando
Good afternoon to you.
I'm appealing to you to help me with my medical dilemma. I’m writing this email with a heavy heart, due to the fact that I've been sick for the past 6 years due to kidney failure and all efforts to get a donor are failing.
In 2019 of my brothers opted to donate for me; he was a match and everything was going well until about 2 weeks before we could travel to India for operation(transplant), then they discovered that he has chronic high blood pressure, as such, he was declined. Therefore, I was asked by the Medical Practitioners at Princess Marina to find another family or relative to donate for me. This is due to the fact that the agreement between the Botswana Government and Indian Government is that; ONLY family/relatives can donate because they do it out of love; this is to alleviate issues of black market. To my dismay all the other family members including my own daughter abandoned me the moment I became sick; all efforts by other relatives to find out why they can't help me, proved futile. These is my family that I loved so much and would do anything for (I have been there for them all the time), all I knew was they are people who seemed to be on the receiving end they don’t give, despite that I always provided whenever the need arises thinking that they are lacking so since it’s my family I have to keep on doing it; I didn’t mind. Little did I know that they are opportunists, who will abandon me at my lowest, and even turn my only child against me. Initially, when I was first diagnosed she(my daughter) was willing to donate for me, and soon after she went to Maun everything changed and the abuse started. Later on I discovered that instead of helping by donating for me they resorted to discussing what they are going to inherit in case I die, they even resorted to patronizing witch doctors seeking my demise (doing all this with my daughter). When all these started I was living with my daughter in Jwaneng in 2018 after I lost my job due to the illness. She was working for one company called Cowburn(sp) which was out-sourced by Debswana, she was later on employed by Debswana in Jwaneng. She started abusing me while I was in terrible state due to the illness (I could hardly walk or stand for long, including becoming unconscious at times). She wasn't even feeling any kind of remorse or compassion, and due to the abuse that I sustained from her, I decided to escape while she was at work and went to seek accommodation from a relative in Gaborone in order to be able to go for my medical checkup which were every 2 weeks at the time, because Maun was too far and I wasn’t in a position to travel that distance.
I’m on dialysis 4 times a day to date. Therefore my other option for a donor was a friend who was looking after me at the time. But when I told Dr Moloi (Nephrologist) about my option, and that she was a friend; Dr Moloi rejected my option and emphasized that I find a family/relative. As such, I went to another (Nephrologist) Dr Sheikh and told him about my ordeal regarding a Donor friend; Dr Sheikh actually told me that as far as he knows it's possible; he mentioned that there is an affidavit/power of attorney (something of the sort) that can be done through Attorneys.
I was running out of time due to the fact that the other patients and their donors were about to leave for India. Therefore, my brother and I went back to the Transplant Administrators namely; Mrs Bantsi and Dr Taolo (Nephrologist); who suggested that I give them my daughter's contact details so that they call her themselves (since they were aware of our social problem). They tried to call her several times, she never answered her cell phone, as such, Dr Taolo said, "she must be ignoring our calls purposely because, our landline shows that it's from Transplant, therefore, she is aware". As such, they suggested that, they'll use their personal cellphones instead, these went on for a period of 2 weeks, to no avail. Then we discovered that she (my daughter) is ignoring calls purposely because she doesn’t want to donate anymore. As such, we told the Administrator/Doctor, as such, we gave up and travelled back to Maun, while other patients travelled to India; that was heartbreaking. And I realized that there must be something wrong with her because it seems like the moment I escaped the abuse; that on its own riled her so much, in other words; I was supposed to stay and endure the abuse, in my condition?? Ke gone ke be ke simolola go lemoga gore mentally she’s not okay, and a pathological liar too. She would do all those terrible things and turn around and play victim and even turn everything on me, and she’s very good at manipulating people. I realized that; I thought I knew my daughter whereas I didn’t know her at all. In 2019 when my checkups were scheduled for every month; I decided to move to Maun because, my accommodation in Gaborone was just temporary (ke tshaba go pitaganya batho ko ne ke kopileng boroko teng). Even after moving to Maun where I was close to family none of them came to see me except the one brother (the one who opted to donate for me), not even my own mother; she only remembered me in June this year (after 6years ke ntse ke lwala) and started contacting me, and our elder brother was the only one who would call once in 6 months, but when it came to the issue of donating he declined and stopped communicating. Two other siblings were never bothered either. I never thought in my wildest dreams that my own family would turn on me like an animal, even some of our relatives were perplexed by their behavior. As for my daughter; there is some suspicion that she’s probably on drugs, as someone alleges that Debswana is the hub for such, because that’s where the money is. Another rumor that I came across is the fact that she(my daughter) has even taken Life Insurance policy for me; that’s why she refused to donate for me, I really don’t know what think anymore.
I have 3 other cousins who mentioned that they have various illnesses otherwise they would have tried to donate (one of them openly disclosed that she lives with HIV, the other high blood pressure, the third one undisclosed illness; obviously I can’t enquire further)
This transplant work up is done annually (at the beginning of each year, and travelling to India is normally around May/June/July/August), as such, from 2020 to 2021 it was suspended due to covid outbreak, and more so that India was one of the countries that was hard-hit by covid.
In October 2021 I told a friend of mine about my ordeal regarding a donor, and she suggested that we try and pretend to be relatives, and in my desperation to save my own life, I agreed. As such, mid-March 2022 I called the Transplant Office and spoke to Mrs Bantsi to enquire if the process has resumed, and she affirmed that it has, and that travelling to India will be around April/May. Therefore, End of March 2022 I travelled from Maun to Gaborone to start the transplant work-up. We started with the blood group; which was a match. Then came counselling of which Mrs Bantsi mentioned that both of us (Donor and Recipient) were to stay in India for 3months, whereas in 2019 while doing this with my brother, I remember quiet well that Dr Taolo mentioned that the donor doesn't have to stay in India for 3 months; they can come back after 2 weeks more so that some of them have to go back to work. When my friend heard about the 3 months, she couldn't go along with it because she was going to lose her job, and she has 2 small children (her 10-year-old son, and 10-year-old grandchild) to look after. Initially, when we were discussing about donating for me, her 26-year-old son also opted that he too is willing to donate for me; due to the fact that when I met both his parents in Kasane in 2005 he was still very young at the time and all along he thought I'm his aunt all these years, even in 2009 when they moved to Maun I accommodated the whole family for a couple of months until they found a house to rent. Therefore, when my friend failed to donate due to the constraints of her job, the son and I started the transplant work up. We matched in everything including the cross-match, and he didn't even have any chronic illness. Then on Monday 27 June 2022: came the issue of documentation that links/proves me and his mother are in fact relatives. I don't know if Mrs Bantsi has been suspicious about our relationship all along or what? because, suddenly, she told us, "we better tell the truth because we can go to India and if the Indian Board of Directors discover that we are not related they will definitely send us back to Botswana, but, if you tell the truth we can maybe do an Affidavit, more so that wena Nnaniki we are aware of your social problem” (referring to the fact that I was abandoned by the family, because I had already disclosed my family situation to her. When I heard her say that, I thought coming out clean would be my best option since we really don't have any documents (birth certificates) that prove the relationship; therefore, I opted for the latter. Mrs Bantsi then said she will consult her superiors since she cannot make the decision on her own. Therefore, I reflected back to 2019 when Dr Sheikh told me, that, "it is possible to use a friend as a donor but it's something that can be done through attorneys". Therefore, I was very optimistic about the issue (I never anticipated any problems). Little did I know that Mrs Bantsi’s intentions were not good, she just wanted to “throw me under the bus”, despite my situation. Therefore, Mrs Bantsi told us to go home she will call us back with feedback. From her office I went to Private ward to do my dialysis. While there, Dr Sheikh came in and I told him about the issue, and to my surprise he wasn't really perturbed that this is not going to go my way, all he said was, "I'm sure Mrs Bantsi will find a way around this". So I waited for Mrs Bantsi to call me back until Thursday 30 June 2022, to no avail; and since 1 July 2022 was a holiday I went to her office, when I got there, she told me they were about to call me, and she told me that I was rejected by the Board in India; this was so devastating, I couldn't talk for a little while , and she again suggested that I must find family/relative; whereas she`s aware that I'm out of options (due to my social problem). I then told her I'll try to call my mum's cousin who once mentioned that she, "could have tried to donate for me unfortunately she has done so many operations after her car accident". I've told Mrs Bantsi about her before, so I told her I'll go down stairs to call her again. Unfortunately, she did not oblige due to the fact that: according to her, "once in a while she sustains pains due to the operations, and her sons are the ones who look after her". Therefore, I called Mrs Bantsi to inform her of the negative news. And went home with a heavy heart. When I got home, I tried to call Dr Taolo (Superior to Mrs Bantsi), he never answered. Monday 04 July, went back to Princess Marina to see Dr Taolo because he was still not answering my calls. I then called Dr Sheikh who answered my call and went to see him, apparently he was with Mrs Bantsi when she did a zoom call to India, and was aware of the fact that they rejected me.
I raised several issues with him regarding my condition and my social problem of which Mrs Bantsi is fully aware of:
a) I asked him if my issue, "wouldn't be an exception in order to save my life looking at the fact I only have 4 siblings of which
-The 2 older brothers and a sister; never uttered word about whether they are willing to donate for me at the time when our relatives asked them about the fact that I need a donor....
- the 3rd born is the one that tried to donate for me in 2019, and failed due to high blood pressure.
Then he told me the government is in discussions to end up doing operations here in Botswana in the future and they are going to use brain-dead patients as donors, and I asked him, "how many years will that take to be finalized? And where will I be knowing very well that kidney failure is fatal?
- Then I asked him if the Indian government is aware of the HIV prevalence in this country? And that maybe even my other siblings (that I mentioned above) maybe the reason they never opted is because maybe they are positive and don't want to divulge their HIV status? "
- then I told him I wondered if Mrs Bantsi`s plan was to persuade me to tell the truth by mentioning the affidavit as an alternative in order to " throw me under the bus or what?"
- Why did Mrs Bantsi contact the Indian government direct instead consulting her superiors like she told me? That clearly shows all along she was looking for a way to reject me...
Then I left and went to address the same issues with Mrs Bantsi.
Ultimately, she asked me, "What do I suggest we should do?" she was asking this question in a nonchallant manner that was not comforting at all.
I told her, "the way both of you (Dr Taolo and yourself) were a bit negligent with my issue, due to the fact that in 2019 you were supposed to call my family in Maun to tell them about my illness and that I need a donor, you even suggested that since they are far you will get Dr Peter at Letsholathebe Hospital in Maun to call them that side to do counselling on your behalf"; and that never happened. That's when she asked for my family’s contact numbers once again and said she will call them and get back to me, and she never did, and I kept on calling her, sending WhatsApp messages and going to her office for a couple of weeks; she never did. Sometime in July 2022 I went to see Mrs Bantsi again and she told me they are no longer going to India for operations; they'll start doing operations here in Botswana by the end of the year 2022 hopefully with the new law they'll be able to accommodate some of us who don't have family donors. Even Dr Taolo affirmed it. I was hopeful.
Eventually, to get me off her back she sent me a WhatsApp message on the 17 August 2022 saying, “I’m in training for 20 days”; She wanted me to stop bothering her I suppose.
On one occasion while going to check on Mrs Bantsi: it was Monday the 11 July 2022, I called Dr Sheikh because my prescription was finished and he suggested that I come on Tuesday 12 July 2022 (that's when he`ll be having a clinic for outpatients. I came and he prescribed everything that I needed. Then when I was about to leave he asked me, "what have you decided about the situation?" And I told him that I've actually decided to cell my house and maybe approach any NGO that will be willing to top up whatever I got from the sale of the house and maybe go to Europe for transplant (where they don't need family as a donor) because, so far I have 3 friends who opted to donate for me over the years. He then suggested that I should google MEDICAL TOURISM for Europe in order to know what their laws are before I can sell property, he again suggested that I should check Istanbul in Tukey as well.
- Then I asked him if there are any good hospitals that do transplant in South Africa? He said yes there are; for example the hospital that he went for training for the past 2 years is very good. He even mentioned that one of our Ministers here from Botswana did his transplant there while he (Dr Sheikh) was there, and it was successful. Therefore, I asked him, "if the Botswana Government sponsors the operations in South Africa?", and he said, "NO, only in India". Then he said he thinks the South African laws are similar to those of India (regarding family donors) but he wasn’t sure but he suggested that he will try to get some info and get back to me, still hasn’t. Therefore, at this juncture my only option was the 3 friends who knew about my situation and were willing to donate for me
In November 2022 knowing that the 20 day training that Mrs Bantsi was attending has long elapsed, I decided to go check on her regarding calling my family as well as find out “how far are they with doing operations within the country? I found Dr Taolo who told me Mrs Bantsi has gone to India with other patients, my heart sank realizing that everything they told me was a lie. He even had the guts to ask me “how far are you with finding a family donor?". Ke ratile go thubega because I had explained everything regarding my family they even persuaded me to tell the truth regarding a donor friend pretending to understand my dilemma and that they'll be able to help me whereas that was not their true intensions. Then I asked him gore "Mma Bantsi o bowa leng ko India?" he told me, "2nd week of December 2022, but you shouldn't bother her because she will be busy with the patients soon after she arrives. So you should come and see her in January 2023". I was hurt beyond measure because I realised that my life to these people is not of importance (I'm disposable), As far as he is concerned my case is not as important as for othern patients. None of them (Mrs Bantsi or Dr Taolo) throwing me from pillar to post clearly shows how unprofessional they are and their behavior shows no moral/ethical turpitude whatsoever; never showed any kind of compassion or atleast to offer counselling, probably because I’m not their family it doesn’t matter what happens to me…
Ever since then I tried to sell my house in order to go seek medical help elsewhere; the house can not sell either.
In May 2023 I went to seek help at the Kidney and BP Specialist at Bokamoso (Dr Saleshando) he used to be my Physician in from 2011-2013 when I had chronic hypertension. Therefore, I went there to seek help regarding alternative hospital where they allow friends to donate. He agreed that he will try to get some info for me from Turkey because he has had a similar case before of a patient who didn't have a family donor and had to go to Turkey. So this is what I'm working on right now.